How have I made it this far without posting any kind of cheesecake recipe? I love cheesecake. Smooth, rich, creamy, decadent–it’s everything I love in a dessert. And it gets brownie points for being the Golden Girls’ treat of choice. If it’s good enough for Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia, it’s good enough for me.

But for all the things I love about cheesecake, it’s speed of preparation is not one of them. If you’re making a cheesecake today, you’re not going to get to enjoy it until tomorrow. Many recipes require a 24 hour chill after baking and cooling at room temperature. Who really has time for that when it’s not for a special occasion? Definitely not me. But I also refuse to live without cheesecake. My solution? Swirl it into some blondie batter, bake it up, chill, and commence eating in hours, not days. 

I also refuse to live without sprinkles, so today I’m bringing you Funfetti Cheesecake Platinum Blondies. The blondie base is similar to the one I used here, and it can take almost anything I throw at it. Most blondie recipes contain brown sugar, but I use all granulated here–the resulting lighter color is what makes these “platinum.” If you’d like to stick to traditional blondies, you may use all light brown sugar here, but I think Funfetti desserts are best with all granulated. It makes the vanilla flavor shine, and the lighter color means the rainbow sprinkles really pop!

Let’s get to the most important part: the cheesecake. It’s so good here. The creamy, tangy cheesecake is the perfect counter to the sweet, chewy, sugar cookie-like blondie base. The mixture is super simple to make, too. Beat a brick of full-fat cream cheese with an egg yolk and a teaspoon of vanilla. When it’s fluffy, add in two tablespoons of sugar. If you taste this by itself, it won’t seem sweet enough, but trust me–the tanginess will be divine when baked into the sweet blondie batter. 

 Once you’ve made the batter and the cheesecake mixture, it’s time to assemble. Set aside 2/3 cup of the blondie batter, and spread the rest into the bottom of a 9×9″ pan. Drop the cheesecake mixture and reserved batter by the spoonful over the top of the batter in the pan. Use a knife to swirl it all together. I swirled mine a lot (some might say too much). If you want more pronounced swirls, just go back and forth with the knife a few times. Tap the pan on the counter to make sure everything is evenly distributed before baking at 350F for 25-30 minutes. I tented mine with foil after ten minutes to keep everything from browning too quickly. 

Once the blondies just barely (and I do mean barely) jiggle in the center when the pan is jostled, they’re done. Let them cool on a rack for an hour before chilling for three hours. Yes, three hours seems like eternity, but it’s nothing compared to the 24 hours you’d wait for a traditional cheesecake! Once everything is good and cold, slice it into bars and serve. 

The Funfetti blondie base and cheesecake are a match made in dessert heaven! These bars are sweet, chewy, dense, creamy, tangy, and full of vanilla flavor. Oh, and look how colorful they are! I mean, who can resist a dessert studded with sprinkles and filled with cheesecake? Not many people I know, that’s for sure. 

Do you love sprinkles as much as I do? Check out these Funfetti Sandwich Cookies and Funfetti Cookie Dough Truffles!

Funfetti Cheesecake Platinum Blondies
makes one 9×9″ pan,* about 12-16 bars

Cheesecake:
8 ounces brick-style full-fat cream cheese, softened to room temperature
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 large egg yolk, room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Blondies:
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs, room temperature
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon imitation butter extract (optional)
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon Kosher or sea salt
1/2 cup rainbow sprinkles (jimmies)*

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 9-inch square pan and line with parchment, leaving overhang for bar-removal. Set aside.

Make the cheesecake. In a medium-large mixing bowl, use an electric mixer to beat cream cheese until light and fluffy, about two minutes. Add sugar, and beat to combine. Mix in egg yolk and vanilla. Set aside.

Make the blondie base. In a large mixing bowl, whisk together melted butter and sugar. Mix in eggs, vanilla, and imitation butter extract. Whisk in flour and salt. Use a silicone spatula or wooden spoon to fold in jimmies. Set aside 2/3 cup batter.

Spread the remaining blondie batter in prepared pan. Drop in cheesecake mixture and leftover batter by the spoonful. Use a knife to swirl it all together. Bake 25-30 minutes, tenting with foil if anything starts browning too quickly. Blondies are done when the middle jiggles just barely when the pan is jostled. Let pan cool on a rack at room temperature for one hour. Refrigerate pan for three hours, until cold. Slice into squares and serve.

Funfetti Cheesecake Platinum Blondies will keep covered in the refrigerator for up to five days.

Notes:

1. An 8×8″ square pan may be used here, but it may affect the bake time.
2. Jimmies are the cylindrical sprinkles, and they are ideal for this recipe. Do not use non-pareils (the little ball-shaped sprinkles)–they will bleed their color and give you an unappetizing purplish batter. Have more questions about sprinkles? I go into more detail here.